What to do if your partner - daffodil?

[DARPA]

Such texts lately I see very well, very much. One by one they fall into my tape of the census. What if the husband-narcissus, daffodil, mother, wife, daffodil. Good, intelligible, often very literate lyrics. They are very, very much. And I wrote this one. But!
Where are all these texts, "what if your partner - isteroid?", "What to do if your husband - schizoid?", "How to live with obsessive-compulsive partner?". Oh and about how to cope if your partner has a depressive character (not depression, namely the depressive, and even masochistic character) - I do not remember. Here's how to live, if you have depression - there is a good text, and how to live, if the partner depression - write a little.

Why is that?
Because of daffodils is actually small. Little by little. Throughout my life I have met personally daffodils five: one was in love with the second met in the game get-together in his youth, the third studied and two others were in my therapeutic process. Just something.
I also have a couple of people about whom I sometimes think they daffodils, but I know not so good, so not sure.
Can you imagine how many people I communicate and work as a whole.


Most of the so-called normal people are those most - on Gannushkina - paranoid, epileptoid, depression, psihostenichnye, gipertimnye, labile characters.
We often meet them and more or less able to deal with such thing, particularly when it is expressed as the emphasis of the individual, not as a diagnosis.
With the diagnosis difficult, but all the same idea, in general, is that, in the words of Dr. House, "I fly - you hold the handle." That is, even from relatives of people with the diagnosis requires about the same thing - the tenderness, compassion, warmth and a lot of patience.

Narcissus as the nature - and the diagnosis - a rarity because of its formation to need such - sorry - heartless obsessed parents (often too daffodils), they are few.
Thus, most people are not willing to communicate with daffodils and does not know what to do when gets into a relationship with them. No mechanisms do not work, people very ranitsya. And, in general, the manual for communication with such people need.

And text psychologists write because usually come to us Partners daffodils, smeared with a thin layer along the wall, completely destroyed.
And, frankly, the basic idea of ​​these texts is to ensure that if your partner - clean daffodil, it is roughly the same as your partner - an alcoholic. It is better to leave. And it is better to leave quickly and permanently.
Because narcissus undeveloped ego, because he is not capable of empathy, because it is prone to substance abuse and other types of addictions, because he will not love your children together, because it will not love you because he never could love, and the constant and gentle as asphalt roller, uluchshayzingom he is able to destroy the identity of the partner - and their children for the company.

When psychologists reproach that we offend their texts daffodils, I reassure all - children, one of the chips narcissism that he is unable to identify a daffodil. Therefore, they do not take these texts into your account. Relax.
And those who take, usually have five years in therapy, and know the difference from then and now.

But the idea of ​​the text, in general, is that the most likely - if you are not lucky unique - your partner is not Narcissus.
Thus these texts appear as active and in demand because many, very many in Russia have narcissistic travmatika. And it is very important to understand - a little daffodils and narcissistic travmatiki - a lot. Because the culture of shame, tips and depreciation we have a very well developed.

But this is different.
Partner with narcissistic travmatiki can be quite severe in some moments, he sometimes longs for you to ideal, falls into depression because they do not superpopulyaren it puts unrealistic goals for yourself and do not notice the lack of resources. But he was alive. He has empathy, he is able to take your pain and sympathize with her, he gets scared when he finds out that he is injured and you do not want to continue to do so, he loves his children and relatives, and wants them to be happy, even if they are imperfect . He knows how to take care of, even if no one is watching him, and he is able to see each other.
And most importantly - he is able to change.
Narcissus in therapy varies so slow and so difficult that it takes years and years. In addition, since it is difficult to establish a relationship, he is rarely able to stand it - changing therapists, one by one, and anybody does not find sufficient support.
Any other client, even with narcissistic travmatiki, goes much faster.
And so it is very important to read the text of "What to do if your partner - Daffodil" and learned some things in your partner, take the time to give yourself at least some time out to figure out who you turned out to be together.
Because the hope that you will find in Russia a man without a narcissistic perspective - I would not have offered.